Summer lovin’

Are y’all ready for summer?
I guess I am getting a little ahead of myself here, seeing as it just turned Spring and I should be happy enough with that, right?
Well, I am ready for the warm weather, but the beachy, pooly part of summer I am not ready for yet.  The thought of having to get in a swim suit is paralyzing at best.
Worse yet, it’s the swim suit shopping that is pretty much equivalent to poking myself in the eye with a toothpick.
Exaggeration?  Nope.
I know I am preaching to the choir here, but buying a new swimsuit, no matter what size you are, is THE WORST.
Now, I love me some shopping, but I would rather clean a Port O’ Potty at a Harley Rally then shop for a flattering one-piece.
And that, my friends, is a true story.
You would think, in this day and age, that someone would figure out how to make swimsuit shopping less dreadful.  Really, it wouldn’t be too hard.
Retailers take note…you will sell 17x more beach apparel if you follow these rules…
Lighting.
This is huge.  Why, oh why, must there be the harshest lighting in the world in fitting rooms.
Make it homey…lamps are good…candlelight even better, but I get the whole “fire hazard” issue so I’ll just stick with this ~ NO MORE FLUORESCENT LIGHTING.  Can I get an Amen?
Second, Skinny mirrors.
I know you know what I am talking about.  Skinny mirrors are the best and when you come across one it’s like you want to stare for hours.  They stretch you oh-so-slightly taller, making everything else just look THIS MUCH better.
Not completely false, just a better version of what you’ve got.
Instead, most fitting rooms have regular old mirrors reflecting the fluorescent lighting showing every dimple, every bulge and every wobbly-bit that you never knew you had.
Tack onto that, the 3-way mirror…while helpful in denim shopping…not so much when shopping for the swimsuit.
Third, Temperature.
Please, retailers…when you are trying on swimsuits you are already anxious, so lower the temp a few degrees…seriously.  From personal experience, getting stuck in a tankini is a sweat inducing, precarious situation and the extra heat is not needed.  Trust me.
And finally ~ Sales clerks.
Let me just say that we don’t need you right now.  Being available in a peripheral way is fine, in case I need to be rescued from said tankini, but I don’t need another woman telling me how I look in a swimsuit. Opinions NOT welcome.
So there is my expert opinion of how to make swimsuit shopping better…and yes, I am comfortable calling myself an expert on this matter.  Take my advice, retailers, and see your sales climb…that’s a promise 🙂
So anyway, I am ready for the summer weather...
Not that this cake is going to get you any closer to fitting in that swimsuit, but just thought I’d share…
It is a 1/2 sheet cake with the top layer vanilla cake, the bottom layer chocolate and a chocolate fudge filling in between.  It weighed no less than 50 lbs and was a LOT of cake 🙂
 I, myself, have resigned to the fact that I will be “cover-up” shopping this year…that’s much more fun 😉
Also, don’t forget about the Spring Blog hop…today’s host is Amanda over at i am baker

37 Responses

  1. Bridgett

    Ugh, I dread the bathing suit and I find it horrible that they start putting them out in the stores in January. Horrific!
    Your cake is just too fun! I love the flip-flops.

  2. Teresa

    OMGOodness!
    This is for sure one of my favorite post ever posted!
    Let me just say this!
    I haven't put my short chunky self through this TORTURE chamber in YEARS!!!!
    Okay…this is the KEY to this nightmare!
    ORDER YOUR SWIMSUIT from LAND's END!!!!
    OMG!
    They have the BEST quality…BEST fitting swimsuits that you could never find in a store!
    I just order…and I never look in the mirror!
    It is what it is!
    I don't have to see myself!
    A three way mirror…with florescent lights…oh lordy…that would put this chick over the EDGE!!!!
    Please tell me you will take yourself out of this misery and order from Land's End!
    I have been ordering their fabulous suits for years and have never been disappointed!
    yeah!
    Cake is oh so cute!
    Pop over if you want a recipe for some healthy cookies today! xxooxx ;o)

  3. Lauryn

    omg – the worst!! My mother has this strict rule that she will not under any circumstance go swimsuit shopping with me because I cry every time. But I have figured out MY ideal way of swimsuit shopping — ONLINE!!! 🙂 That cake is awesome and I am going to use it as inspiration for an upcoming cake I will be making!!!

  4. Joanne

    Lets not talk about bathing suits. K?

    This cake is above such things. I choose it over a size 0 anyday. Looks gorgeous!

  5. Paula from Amen Corners

    Your cake is great, love the little sand bucket on the corner! You are very funny and I can relate re the swimsuit shopping but on the other end of the spectrum. Small people have a hard time finding the "perfect" swimsuits too.

  6. Kerri

    I bit the bullet and bought a suit a few weeks ago. I knew if I didn't then I would put it off and be up a creek come vacation time. Target had their one pieces on sale and I quickly tried on a black one that worked and will look even better with a super cute cover-up! 🙂 Or swim shorts for the white water rafting that hubby says that I have to participate in while on said vacation.

  7. Raina

    The cake is beautiful. Reminds me of a place I wish I was at. You are so funny. I love to read your posts. You are saying what we all feel. I dread bathing suit shopping every year. Even if it is a day I think I look good, all I have to do is put a bathing suit on in a fitting room, and my confidence is gone. I agree with Teresa Land's End which they sell at Sears also (not sure if it is in your area)are really great fitting for normal women, a little pricey though but worth it. Thanks for the chuckles.

  8. Sweet Sins

    Amen sister! Why has no one in the retail world figured out any of these things… This is yet another reason why you should run for president! You have my vote! And this cake… it is fantastic!! Great job!

  9. Brisbane Baker

    I totally agree with you on that one.. I had to buy my first tankini since high school for a weekend at a resort and my experience was HORRIBLE! Thank goodness it is Autumn over here 🙂

    I'll back you 100% on the lighting and skinney mirrors!

    Also fantastic cake! Bit of everything 😀

    http://www.brisbanebaker.blogspot.com

  10. m_vogelman

    You are welcome to come to sunny Austin where it will be 80 degrees tomorrow and sunny all day long! By the way, I want to SWIM in that cake!!! (of course, with my cover-up on :))

  11. grace

    when thinking of vile things to compare to swimsuit shopping, i don't know how you ever came up with cleaning a port-a-potty at a harley rally. HA.
    awesome cake–the detail work is magnificent!

  12. Brittany

    So funny and perfect! the dimples show up very well in florescent lighting. Victoria Secret does the dim lighting in their dressing room so at least they get it.

  13. GrapeSugar

    Amen!
    🙂

    Love the little fence and flowers!

    Since I was looking for a pair of pants that actually fit this morning in my closet, I am most definitely not looking forward to seeing if the old tankini fits this year! booo…so, in that spirit, let's eat more cake is right!!

  14. Megan

    Amen sister! That was hysterical and oh so true!!!
    Love the cake. And I love the detail, the pail is so cute. Isn't it amazing how heavey a cake is?

    See you in the cover-up section!

  15. Diana's Cocina

    Last year I scheduled a gyno visit and swim suit shopping all in one day! What was I thinking! Oh yea, I wasn't!! LOL! Your cake is gorgeous.

  16. Holly

    Can't wait for summer and I'm preggo so the swimsuit issue isn't gonna be a major prob for me- Thank God!! lol This cake is stinken cute!!

  17. Pink Little Cake

    You are so funny. I hate bathing suit shopping, the lights are the worse. I love your cake, you are very talented and have great skills decorating.

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