You might be getting bored with my vacation stories.
I’m sorry.
But a change of scenery tends to get the creative juices flowing.
So, yes, I apologize about all this vacation talk, but this story must be told…
As you all know I am allergic to exercise.
It’s a pretty severe allergy.
I carry an EpiPen for it and everything.
But when I am on vacation I like to try and shake things up a bit. You know, live on the edge.
So when the resort pool offered up “Water Aerobics” my friends and I decided, “Why the heck not?”
I mean it’s exercise without sweating or gravity…2 things that I have decided make exercise much too difficult.
Sign. Mah. UP!!
Here’s how it went down:
Got to the pool where the class was being held.
I instantly felt young and fit.
My friends and I brought the average age of the class down by 40 years or so.
There is definitely something to doing water jumping jacks while sandwiched in between an elderly woman and a man with large man-breasts to elevate your self-esteem.
Next our instructor made her appearance.
For the sake of anonymity we will call her Sherry. Ok, that was her name, but something tells me she’s not reading this…more on that later…
Sherry was a head turner. She strolled in wearing her swimsuit and a smile.
Bless her heart.
The one thing that made Sherry unique, however was that Sherry…our Sherry…
well…
Jesus strike me down, but Sherry had one penis too many to be wearing a bikini.
Sherry wore a fabulously bedazzled suit, wedge sandals…I assume to enhance her feminine calves…and a toe ring. The end.
I still don’t know why Sherry wore that, clearly custom made, bikini…because she didn’t get in the water.
Nope.
She did all the very bendy exercises without the blessed camouflage of the water.
Her splits, her leg lifts, her high kicks are now cemented in my mind as clear as the day of my first son’s birth.
Some thing’s stay with you for a lifetime.
Thank you for that, Sherry.
Sherry also competes in body building competitions.
I know this because she didn’t stop talking about it.
Or flexing.
Flexing apparently is a large part of her day.
That and making chicken burgers.
Maybe flexing while preparing the chicken burgers.
She told us that she didn’t want to eat turkey because there is more estrogen in the turkey.
I’m not thinking that would be a problem.
But hey, different strokes, different folks.
But Sherry had me working my flabby tush in that pool next to Father Time harder than I have worked in a while.
She was a drill sergeant, that Sherry.
And after it was all said and done she made us chant.
You know what we had to chant?
“Bread is bad”
Seriously.
That is how I know Sherry is not reading this.
Bread is bad is pretty counter-intuitive to what I am doing here.
So, in Sherry’s honor today I will make an easy dessert that makes me chant, “Bread is good”.
Especially when it is stuffed with Reese’s Cups.
Sorry Sherry, but thanks for the memories.
Reese’s Stuffed Crescent Rolls
You’ll need:
4 Reese’s Cups
1 package Crescent Rolls (makes 8)
powdered sugar for sifting
Here’s how you do it:
Cut your Reese’s Cups in half and starting from the top and loosely roll your Crescents.
Remember to pinch the sides closed so the chocolate doesn’t melt out.
Bake on a parchment lined baking sheet according to package directions.
(I baked for 8 minutes)
When they are done sprinkle with powdered sugar.
They are best served warm.
Hope you have a great week!
YUMEEEE….Somehow I think it would be easier to work out with your Sherry than my group fitness instructor "Sherry" whose DDDDDDDD++++++ boobies and size 00 butt make me want to crawl in a Reese's crescent roll and never come out from the flaky covers…..
I don't know which I enjoyed more, the story or the recipe. That's the kind of thing that only happens in movies.
These are just wrong! Almost as wrong as Sherry's penis…0_0
I love your stories! I just read this aloud to my mother, who is a water arobics drop out, and she just laughed and laughed! She thinks that you need to write a book. You are truly funny.
brilliant!
I love anything wrapped in crescent rolls. I love resees. I can't imagine how fan-freakin-tastic they will be together!
Oh, this is hilarious. Thank you for the laugh! And, it's meant to be, this recipe, because I have several pounds of peanut butter cups left from a party where no one ate any. !!!! Now I have another recipe to try. 🙂
Really – tears in my eyes. WAY too funny!
Ha ha. I love this story. My friend and I do water aerobics on a regular basis (pretty much because we also hate gravity and sweating). Thank God our instructor doesn't act like yours did. I don't think I could handle the chanting and all that.
I love these reese stuffed crescents. My 10 year old would love making these.
P.S. It certainly takes a brave woman to do all the exercises on land wearing only a bathing suit. Yikes!
I thank Sherry, she obviously inspired this totally yummy recipe. YAY SHERRY!!!! 😉
I won't be able to get the image out of my mind. If I chant 'bread is good' while eating these delicious treats, I may be able to forget about "Sherry" for a while 🙂