Which means my kids are hanging around, asking to be fed, wanting to do crafts and making unnecessary messes all around.
Sometimes I am a good mom and I take them out to lunch and then to Target where I desperately try to buy their love and affection with video games and candy. I mean, I’ve heard that works.
But other days I tell them to go outside, use their imagination and DON’T COME BACK INSIDE 5 MINUTES LATER!
My mom used to straight up lock the door so my brother and I couldn’t come inside. She would only unlock for restroom breaks or bloodshed. It’s true.
I never truly understood why she did that until now. I just assumed she was inside taking long, luxurious baths, eating all the Little Debbie Snacks in the house and painting her nails. It never occurred to me that she was doing laundry or vacuuming.
It’s also possible she was trying to save our collective brains from becoming mush. We were total TV-aholics. We would sit at home and watch the same 3 movies on VHS tapes that we recorded off HBO. Anything to avoid fresh air.
Our go-to flicks were: Grease, Rocky 4 and American Anthem. I wish I were lying to you.
I still, to this day, can recite every word spoken in Rocky 4. AND it’s also just a weensy-bit possible that my brother and I would tag-team the songs in Grease. I am 4 years older than my bro, so I had power over him. I am sure he’s less than thrilled at me revealing these little nuggets on the world-wide-web. Sorry dude.
So yeah, she was probably so sick of hearing Summer Lovin’ sang at the top of our lungs and the Rocky 4 work-out montage reenacted that her final straw was kicking us out. I guess I kinda get it. Man, the clarity you get as an almost-adult.
And 5 points to ya if you even REMEMBER American Anthem.
So yeah. Spring Break 2012. Target trips, Applebee’s and locking my kids outside. Mom of the year up in herrr.
Also, I try to load my kids up with as many saturated fats as possible. I mean, don’t you?
Enter Sugar Cookie Cheesecake Bars.
Ok, I am totally lying, my kids won’t go near cheesecake. They have much to learn.
These bars are really easy, totally delicious and will feed loads of saturated-fats-loving people.
Start with a package of dry sugar cookie mix, some French Vanilla Pudding, brown sugar, melted butter, vanilla and an egg…
Now. If you’re feeling fancy you can top your cheesecake bars with toffee. You don’t have to. You might WANT to, but you definitely don’t have to if toffee isn’t your thang.
I’m thinking next time I’m going to drizzle some salted caramel all over instead. Oooh, lightbulb moment!
But if you’re going the toffee route, take 2/3 cup of toffee bits and pulverize the heck out of them in your blender or food processor until they’re almost a dust…
Then cut into squares and enjoy!