I have decided that there are 2 kinds of people in this world…
Only 2, you ask?
Yes, today only 2.
There are those who buy lottery tickets and those who don’t.
Are you nodding in agreement?
Of course you are.
My husband is firm in his resolve that we WILL, one day, win the lotto.
I am the other side of the coin. The Simon to his Garfunkle.
I hate wasting money on ridiculousness. And no, $30 hair straightening serum is not ridiculous, thank you very much.
I guess what I am saying is that I hate wasting money on things I have no control over…
Like I could have totally just spent that very same losing lottery ticket dollar on a pack of gum. I would at least have minty fresh breath to show for it.
But my husband continues to play..over and over. Especially when the payout is over $200 million…it is extra important to play then, apparently…because, you know, no one else has that same idea.
Besides, we would never win the lottery, anyway. We are too normal.
We eat at Applebees.
We pay our mortgage.
I have seen those shows on the Discovery Channel where lotto winners have squandered all their earnings on ninja sword collections, and blinged out pinky rings… or made questionable investments in Teepee Motels or alpaca farms.
All NOT normal.
And since I don’t plan on getting a marble statue of myself to display in front of my ginormous mansion or intend on developing a crack habit I think I don’t qualify as crazy enough to win the lottery.
BUT my husband has a difference of opinion. Soooo, he buys the tickets. Week after week…
I estimate that if I had all the money that we have previously spent on lotto tickets in my pocket I would have enough clams to develop quite a nice crack addiction.
I guess if I decided not to go the drug addict route I could certainly buy a set of not-at-all ostentatious Louis Vuitton luggage.
All those trifled lottery dollars gone. {sigh}
Now that I am sure I have officially offended all previous lottery winners, Teepee hotel owners, pinkie ring wearers, ninja sword collectors and crack smokers I will move on to my own personal lottery win….the invention of Samoa Bark.
It feels like winning the lottery without all the baggage and temptation..ok scratch that…there will definitely be temptation and there is almost a certain guarantee that you will be carrying around extra baggage on your tush, but it would be worth it, right?
Because, I think, until I DO win the lottery and buy the Girl Scout organization and force them to sell their delicious cookies year-round this yummy treat will have to suffice.
Suffice indeed.
It’s easy and no bake. Have I convinced you yet?
Here’s how you do it.
First melt your chocolate.
Then spread it on a foil lined baking sheet.
Immediately press shortbread cookies into the chocolate.
Put in the freezer to set.
Meanwhile toast your coconut. Carefully.
You want it to be pretty and toasty…
Now melt your caramels and fold in the pretty, toasted coconut. Spread it all over your frozen bark. It’s important that it’s frozen because the caramel mixture doesn’t spread easily and you want the bark to stay intact.
Now drizzle with more chocolate because it’s the law ’round these parts.
I stuck it back in the freezer for a few minutes to set the chocolate (you can skip this step if you have a little while and let it set up at room temperature), but you will want to eat the bark at room temperature unless you would like to lose a filling on the caramel. Something you should know.
Cut into squares, or triangles or parallelograms…maybe even a rhombus, if you’re feeling geometrical. Otherwise you can just break it into pieces and eat every time you walk past it, much like I do.
Samoa Bark
Ingredients
- 12 oz. semi-sweet chocolate + 2 oz for drizzle
- 35–40 shortbread cookies (I used Lorna Doone)
- 14 oz bag of caramels
- 3 cups sweetened flaked coconut
- 3 Tbsp water
- Instructions
Instructions
- Line a baking sheet with foil. Set aside.
- Melt 12 oz of semi-sweet chocolate over a double boiler or in the microwave. (I prefer double boiler).
- Spread the melted chocolate to your desired thickness…I went thin-ish.
- Top your warm chocolate evenly with your shortbread cookies.
- Place baking sheet in freezer while you do the next steps.
- In a non-stick skillet on medium-low heat, toast your coconut, stirring occasionally. This will take about 10 minutes or so, but be watchful because once it starts to brown it happens quickly and you do not want to burn the coconut! When the coconut is toasted, set aside.
- Meanwhile unwrap all your caramels and place them in a medium saucepan along with 3 Tbsp of water over medium-low heat.
- Stir continuously until the caramel has JUST melted. You don’t want to over heat the caramel, as it will make it hard. Immediately fold in your toasted coconut.
- Remove your chocolate from the freezer and spread the caramel/coconut evenly on top.
- Melt your remaining 2 oz of chocolate using whatever melting process you prefer and drizzle over the top of the caramel/coconut.
- Put back in the freezer for 5 minutes to set the chocolate.
- Cut and enjoy!
Notes
Cut using a sharp knife in the size/shape of your choosing. Store in an airtight container.
My husband is convinced that we will, one day, win the lottery. There is one caveat here, and that is he needs to actually purchase a lottery ticket. Me? Never bought one, never will. I have one BIL who gives lottery tickets every year as birthday presents, and every year I ask if I can just have the $5. What am I supposed to say to that?! Thanks for throwing my $5 away? I mean…seriously?! That’s a value meal at McD’s! LOL
On to more important things…these samoa bars? Honestly? I. Love. You. That is all.
I made this and it’s amazing…the taste and the presentation were big hits. Just one small addition. When I got to the point of adding the chocolate to the top, I added a small amount of vegetable oil (maybe 2 – 3 tsp….ideally, would have added melted cocoa butter but didn’t have any) to the melted chocolate to make it easier to drizzle and to “decorate” the top! The addition of the small amount of added fat thins the chocolate without diluting the flavor, allows for a better “drizzle” and permits it to harden in the freezer just fine! Thought I would pass along this little tip!
I was enjoying some time on Pinterest tonight and it brought me to your page here. This recipe looks amazing!
Not only did I discover this yummy, easy recipe, I absolutely hear you on the lotto stuff (my hubby is also a lotto ticket buyer and I am not). You writing is great and gave me a good laugh. I’ll definitely be checking back!
I made these tonight, and saved my husband from some monotonous tax stuff. He was quite happy. I have enough to take in to work tomorrow to ease us back in from the 3 day weekend, too 😀
yay!!
Samoas. If this bark grew on a tree…. the things that I would do….
Oh lord… MUST MAKE SOON.
So loved reading your post – completely with you on the Lotto thing 😀
This is SO getting made! Living in the Uk ive never actually had a real girl scout cookie of any kind, and to recreate something so scrummy looking but easy too is just too good an opportunity to pass up! Gorgeous recipe thanks! 🙂
oh my goodness! This looks completely amazing. I make different barks every year during the holidays and this will definitely have to join the ranks…Samoas are my fav girl scout cookie!
I cant believe I didnt comment the first time I was here. This is the 2nd time I’ve been back…to stalk this recipe. It looks…AMAZING 🙂