Let’s talk, shall we?
I consider this an open forum, where I share my thoughts, and you can too.
We can use this as a place to voice our opinions and/or grievances.
Today, grievance is on the menu. Hungry?
Let’s discuss the “Point-Out-What-You-Are-Doing Wrong” mom. (POWYADW)
We all know one and we don’t like her.
Her sentences usually begin with, “I don’t know if you KNOW this, but…”
or the ever popular, “No offense, but…”
how about, “You can do whatever you want, but I…”
and a favorite of mine, “Do you know your child is…”
In the early years of motherhood you encounter the breast-feeding judgers. The ones that talk and talk and talk about how great breast feeding is (no duh) and give you the sideways head look if you don’t/can’t/won’t breastfeed. Then proceed to lecture you about how you are basically killing your child if you don’t.
- Resolution: Turn to them and say, “Don’t you worry about who’s sucking on my boobs.” End of discussion, I promise you that.
Then once you hit the solid food stage there are the moms who make all their own homemade baby food and how they would NEVER feed their child the processed, cancer-in-a-jar food they sell at the supermarket.
- Resolution: Casually say, “My husband and I have made the conscious decision to feed our child processed food as an infant so our other children won’t think we love him more”. Conversation over.
As your children get older you will get to know, what I like to call, “The Video Game Police”. They will let you know that you have just killed your child’s last brain cells by letting him play Mario Cart.
- Resolution: State with full resolve, “Children with good hand eye coordination grow to be smarter, stronger and better lovers. I am improving their quality of life”. Then fancy snap and walk away.
I had a run-in with the local POWYADW Mom just yesterday. She was ALL OVER my son’s playground etiquette.
Of course I looked at her and said thank you.
I don’t think of witty comebacks until 2 hours later.
What I SHOULD have said was: “Well thank you for focusing on my child’s playground etiquette, we know averting attention from your 80’s bangs and bad breath is quite a task and I am grateful I could be of help to you today.”
I now have my words for next time.
Now that’s off my chest we can talk cupcakes. Almond Joy ones.
I started with a chocolate box mix and added some extras like shredded coconut and coconut milk…
Then I made some coconut buttercream. You have to. Your life will be happier because of it.
Then I stuck an almond on top. These are ALMOND JOY cupcakes, after all.
Then I dipped them in chocolate. You don’t HAVE to, but you will be happy if you do. Believe in the power of chocolate.
Now eat. EAT!
Chocolate Coating
Ingredients
- 2 cups milk chocolate chips
- 1 1/2 Tbsp vegetable oil or vegetable shortening
- 24 raw almonds
Instructions
- Press an almond on top of each cupcake.
- Put your frosted cupcakes in the freezer for 5 minutes.
- Meanwhile melt your chocolate chips and veg oil or shortening in a double boiler or microwave. If using microwave heat for 1 minute on 50% power, then stir. Repeat in 30 second increments (on 50% power) stirring after each until melted.
- Transfer your melted chocolate into a wide mouthed mug or a small deep bowl. You need your chocolate to be deep enough to dunk the entire top of your cupcake.
- Remove cupcakes from freezer and dunk tops into melted chocolate.
- When you are finished dunking all the cupcakes place cupcakes in refrigerator to set the chocolate.
Notes
Serve at room temperature, just leave in the fridge long enough for the chocolate to set, approx 15 minutes.
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Almond Joy Cupcakes
Ingredients
- 1 box chocolate cake mix
- 1 1/4 cup Lite Coconut Milk
- 1 cup sweetened shredded coconut
- 1/2 cup vegetable oil
- 3 eggs
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350°
- Line muffin pan with cupcake liners.
- In a large mixing bowl combine all ingredients. Mix on low for 30 seconds. Turn mixer speed up to medium and beat for 2 minutes.
- Fill liners 1/2 full with batter.
- Bake for 15-20 minutes until centers spring back when pressed.
- Let cool completely before frosting.
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Coconut Buttercream
Ingredients
- 1 cup butter (2 sticks) room temperature
- 3/4 cup vegetable shortening
- 8 cups sifted powdered sugar
- 1/2–3/4 cup light coconut milk
- 1/2 tsp. coconut extract
Instructions
- In mixer beat together butter and shortening until smooth.
- On low mix in your powdered sugar.
- Pour in your coconut milk and coconut extract and mix until combined. Turn up speed to medium and mix for 45 seconds.
- Pipe or spread onto cupcakes. If piping use a snipped off ziplock bag or a large 1A tip on a piping bag.
while these cupcakes look amazing…i mean who wouldn’t love anything with almond joy in the title….i must say that youu crack me up. great recipe…and great post!
Going backward: this will be one of my favorite recipes…I already know it!! Me LOVES chocolate and coconut, especially when incorporated into buttercream!! I bet some almond extract added with the coconut extract will be good too…thats how I make my oatmeal: with almond and coconut extract, toasted coconut and almonds, if I have them…I leave the chocolate out to make myself feel healthy 🙂
ANYHOO, I’m so sorry about that Mother…I have BEEN there and, even though it’s annoying, it’s also just plain hurtful…we put so much pressure on ourselves, we do NOT need it from anyone else…maybe the kill her with kindness option would be to make her these cupcakes and attach a note telling her how you thought this might put some sweetness into her words/thoughts next time!!!
Is there someway I can contact you in a comeback emergency, my awesome comebacks usually come about 2 days later 🙂 I’m not even a mom and I’ve gotten the POWYADW comments. I was with my (well behaved) nephew checking out at a store when he asked for some candy, I said not this time which he was totally okay with (well maybe not but he didn’t make a fuss) old lady in front of us turns around and says “now you listen to your mother young man” uhhhhhhh thanks lady. Our solution…we ignored her I mean we didn’t know she was even talking to us as I’m not his mother 😉 I was desperatly trying to think of some witty thing to respond to her though, but the best I came up with was “I’m his aunt not his mom”…yeah, thats a great comeback.
So I would like to thank you for the comebacks that will most certainly come in handy when I have my own kids and of course thanks for the recipe as I NEED those cupcakes, I love, love, love coconut and chocolate!!!
Oh how I despise POWYADW moms. As moms we are seriously SO hard on each other–it kills me. I was told to say about breastfeeding, “How about I won’t ask about what kind of action your boobs see, and you can extend the same courtesy.” 🙂 And, I must try these cupcakes!
I stumbled onto your blog this morning….you are really FUNNY! Into the bookmarks you go because it looks like you bake really well too.
Thanks for the bright spot today–
Wow! Amazing cupcakes! I’m horrible with the comebacks! About 2 hours later, I always think of something witty….
Thanks for the idea to have comebacks ready for POWYADW Moms. I only have mental images of me shaking them. Lame, I know. Love the recipe. Will try this over the weekend. Coating it in chocolate is an awesome idea!
Haha! This post cracked me up. I never think of good comebacks either until I’m stewing on it later. Hate that! The cupcakes look amazing and I’m sure you’re a great mom!
I’m practicing my fancy snap.
The cupcakes? Pretty darn awesome. You rawk. (rock)
Totally brings me back to my child bearing years when an “elite” group of supermoms were frowning upon anything other than home births…with a midwife…in your bathtub. Sheesh.
P.S. Did I mention I LOVE almond joy…because I ALWAYS feel like a nut. hehe 🙂