I have decided that there are 3 types of people: Beach people, pool people and people who wish they were beach people, but sadly are not.
I am the third type.
The wish I was, but really am not, sort.
I blame the sand.
Anyway, I bit the bullet and decided to go to the beach the other day with my friends and family. Normal beach stuff happened: sunscreen, fistfuls of Doritos, bikini judging, my kids building sand couches…yes, I said couches. They can’t be normal kids and build sand castles. A bit telling, don’t you think?
Anyway. It was a normal beach day.
Until.
UNTIL.
I got stung by a jellyfish.
For real.
Just like that episode of Friends…or any other time someone has gotten stung by a jellyfish.
Me, not being an over-reactor at all, was convinced that I was about to die. I basically started wheezing and planning my funeral.
But then reality hit me. Monica got stung by a jellyfish and Chandler peed on her and saved her life.
I hurried back to the beach where MY friends were lounging, and casually asked if they had any pee to spare.
After an awkward moment, they all avoided eye contact and said, “uhh yeah..no..ummm…I…ummm just peed in the ocean”. I’m not sure if they were more embarrassed about peeing in the ocean or the prospect of peeing on me.
Of course my husband offered, but I could never allow that to happen. Sometimes there are places that relationships shouldn’t go. It’s a hard limit of mine.
So, yeah, all my friends left me for dead.
By the grace of God I made it out alive, no thanks to my “friends”. I really need a Chandler in my life.
Life lesson: Next time you are at the beach, maybe don’t pee in the ocean…you never know when it will save a life. Plus, it’s just nasty.
Are you hungry yet?
Sorry about all the pee talk it’s all so unladylike.
Let’s talk food.
Cake Mix Toffee Bars.
These are simple. You don’t need to dirty up your mixer or anything.
Just mix some cake mix, an egg and some melted butter together and press it into a pan…
Get your toffee ready. It’s the star of the show.
Then stir together a can of sweetened condensed milk, another egg, vanilla and your toffee. Pour it all over your crust.
And bake.
That’s it y’all.
Cake Mix Toffee Bars
Description
makes 30 bars
Ingredients
- 1 (18.25 oz) vanilla cake mix
- 2 eggs
- 1/3 cup butter. melted
- 1 (14 oz) can sweetened condensed milk
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1 cup toffee bits or Heath Bar bits (chocolate coated toffee bits)
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350°
- Spray a 9×13 pan lightly with cooking spray.
- In a bowl combine dry cake mix, 1 egg and melted butter until evenly incorporated. Press this in the prepared pan.
- In another bowl combine sweetened condensed milk, egg, vanilla and toffee bits. Whisk together until combined.
- Pour this over the first layer.
- Bake for 20-25 minutes until edge are golden brown and center is set.
- Let cool completely before cutting into squares.
Notes
These bars are great if made the day before.
Store airtight, unrefrigerated for up to 3 days.
I’m trying this recipe with Butterfingers. I’ll let you know how it turns out!
That will be awesome! Yes, let me know 🙂
OMG, deliciousness. A good thing to have after narrowly losing your life.
So glad u made it! These look totally fabulous and I’m bookmarking right now 😉
I would have TOTALLY peed on you, friend.
But only for a few of these bars. I mean, I have a price.
I love making cake mix bars! A box of vanilla or yellow cake and a can of sweetened cond milk have infinite possibilities. Love the toffee “soup”…I could drink that 🙂
My mouth is watering already. I love anything with a cake mix. My newest favorite is this cake batter fudge. Have you tried it?
http://luvwhatyoudo.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/cake-batter-fudge/
The idea of using it as a crust is genious and I’m a huge toffee fan. Fantastic recipe!
ooh no! I’ll have to try that!!
Next time go in search of vinegar. It does the same thing as pee and isn’t gross. (I was stung my a HUGE man-of-war when I was in 7th grade and after being rushed to the hospital had welts from my neck to my upper thigh). My next beach visit I was stung on the foot by a much smaller, less poisonous jelly fish. Now I don’t go to the beach without a jar of vinegar….because, even after that, I AM a beach person!
Oh nooooooooo! I so wish Chandler were there to rescue you!!! (Love that episode!!)
These toffee bars look amazing though. Hope you are feeling better! 🙂
I loved your story… I am the third, wishing I was at the beach… no not really, I hate the sand and the water here at Lake Superior is much too cold for me to even think of going in and I hate just lying on the beach….. But I do love your bars and going to make them…YUM… love anything toffee.
Sorry to hear about the Jelly fish Me I would have likely lost my head……lol….. as for the bars I think I might try that sounds easy and good 🙂 Pin it 🙂