I have decided that there are 3 types of people: Beach people, pool people and people who wish they were beach people, but sadly are not.
I am the third type.
The wish I was, but really am not, sort.
I blame the sand.
Anyway, I bit the bullet and decided to go to the beach the other day with my friends and family. Normal beach stuff happened: sunscreen, fistfuls of Doritos, bikini judging, my kids building sand couches…yes, I said couches. They can’t be normal kids and build sand castles. A bit telling, don’t you think?
Anyway. It was a normal beach day.
Until.
UNTIL.
I got stung by a jellyfish.
For real.
Just like that episode of Friends…or any other time someone has gotten stung by a jellyfish.
Me, not being an over-reactor at all, was convinced that I was about to die. I basically started wheezing and planning my funeral.
But then reality hit me. Monica got stung by a jellyfish and Chandler peed on her and saved her life.
I hurried back to the beach where MY friends were lounging, and casually asked if they had any pee to spare.
After an awkward moment, they all avoided eye contact and said, “uhh yeah..no..ummm…I…ummm just peed in the ocean”. I’m not sure if they were more embarrassed about peeing in the ocean or the prospect of peeing on me.
Of course my husband offered, but I could never allow that to happen. Sometimes there are places that relationships shouldn’t go. It’s a hard limit of mine.
So, yeah, all my friends left me for dead.
By the grace of God I made it out alive, no thanks to my “friends”. I really need a Chandler in my life.
Life lesson: Next time you are at the beach, maybe don’t pee in the ocean…you never know when it will save a life. Plus, it’s just nasty.
Are you hungry yet?
Sorry about all the pee talk it’s all so unladylike.
Let’s talk food.
Cake Mix Toffee Bars.
These are simple. You don’t need to dirty up your mixer or anything.
Just mix some cake mix, an egg and some melted butter together and press it into a pan…
Get your toffee ready. It’s the star of the show.
Then stir together a can of sweetened condensed milk, another egg, vanilla and your toffee. Pour it all over your crust.
And bake.
That’s it y’all.
Cake Mix Toffee Bars
Description
makes 30 bars
Ingredients
- 1 (18.25 oz) vanilla cake mix
- 2 eggs
- 1/3 cup butter. melted
- 1 (14 oz) can sweetened condensed milk
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1 cup toffee bits or Heath Bar bits (chocolate coated toffee bits)
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350°
- Spray a 9×13 pan lightly with cooking spray.
- In a bowl combine dry cake mix, 1 egg and melted butter until evenly incorporated. Press this in the prepared pan.
- In another bowl combine sweetened condensed milk, egg, vanilla and toffee bits. Whisk together until combined.
- Pour this over the first layer.
- Bake for 20-25 minutes until edge are golden brown and center is set.
- Let cool completely before cutting into squares.
Notes
These bars are great if made the day before.
Store airtight, unrefrigerated for up to 3 days.
So sorry about the jellyfish ~ I’ve had that happen. Not fun at all! I haven’t read all the responses so not sure if vinegar has been mentioned. Always take that with you…really works.
The toffee bars sound divine ~ thanks so much for sharing!
Pat
I would be a total spaz if that happened to me! So sorry!
These toffee bars are delicious looking 🙂
Looks delicious and I am for sure a pool girl! Wanting to be able to see the ocean from the pool of course. Don’t EVER feel bad about being a pool girl! 🙂
A delicious and easy beach treat! Sorry to hear about your jellyfish experience. :/
My boyfriend got stung by a jellyfish 2 years ago, he still has traces of the scar 🙁
A few advices if it ever happens to anyone:
– scrape the wound/burn with a creditcard to remove traces of jellyfish material
– rub alcohol on the wound/burn
– take an antihistamin if you’ve got any
The bars look delicious 🙂
you are a cake mix genius.
ps. I can’t believe you actually got stung! I feel like that’s only something that happens on TV or in the movies. Apparently so is peeing on your friends I guess.
Cake mix is my #1 favorite shortcut for making bars. There are so many possibilities! he combo of toffee and sweetened condensed milk has me weak at the knees…….
I love the simplicity of the ingredients in these bars – piece of cake! (no pun intended :)) Glad you are okay after the jelly fish scare!
Is there any rerun better than a classic Friend’s episode? And you must have read Fifty Shades of Gray, “hard limit”, LOL!
You caught that, huh?? 🙂
Do you have any tips for spreading the mix in the cake pans. I have a heckuva time getting it to spread. I wind up with more on my fingers than in the pan half the time!
I used fingers…it works the best 🙂
I use a small glass cup. It works really well! It very easily spreads the mix evenly and all the way to the corners. Then I just clean up the corners with my fingers. It’s super quick and cleaner than using my fingers, which, by the way, I’m never afraid to use!