I have decided that there are 3 types of people: Beach people, pool people and people who wish they were beach people, but sadly are not.
I am the third type.
The wish I was, but really am not, sort.
I blame the sand.
Anyway, I bit the bullet and decided to go to the beach the other day with my friends and family. Normal beach stuff happened: sunscreen, fistfuls of Doritos, bikini judging, my kids building sand couches…yes, I said couches. They can’t be normal kids and build sand castles. A bit telling, don’t you think?
Anyway. It was a normal beach day.
Until.
UNTIL.
I got stung by a jellyfish.
For real.
Just like that episode of Friends…or any other time someone has gotten stung by a jellyfish.
Me, not being an over-reactor at all, was convinced that I was about to die. I basically started wheezing and planning my funeral.
But then reality hit me. Monica got stung by a jellyfish and Chandler peed on her and saved her life.
I hurried back to the beach where MY friends were lounging, and casually asked if they had any pee to spare.
After an awkward moment, they all avoided eye contact and said, “uhh yeah..no..ummm…I…ummm just peed in the ocean”. I’m not sure if they were more embarrassed about peeing in the ocean or the prospect of peeing on me.
Of course my husband offered, but I could never allow that to happen. Sometimes there are places that relationships shouldn’t go. It’s a hard limit of mine.
So, yeah, all my friends left me for dead.
By the grace of God I made it out alive, no thanks to my “friends”. I really need a Chandler in my life.
Life lesson: Next time you are at the beach, maybe don’t pee in the ocean…you never know when it will save a life. Plus, it’s just nasty.
Are you hungry yet?
Sorry about all the pee talk it’s all so unladylike.
Let’s talk food.
Cake Mix Toffee Bars.
These are simple. You don’t need to dirty up your mixer or anything.
Just mix some cake mix, an egg and some melted butter together and press it into a pan…
Get your toffee ready. It’s the star of the show.
Then stir together a can of sweetened condensed milk, another egg, vanilla and your toffee. Pour it all over your crust.
And bake.
That’s it y’all.
Cake Mix Toffee Bars
Description
makes 30 bars
Ingredients
- 1 (18.25 oz) vanilla cake mix
- 2 eggs
- 1/3 cup butter. melted
- 1 (14 oz) can sweetened condensed milk
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1 cup toffee bits or Heath Bar bits (chocolate coated toffee bits)
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350°
- Spray a 9×13 pan lightly with cooking spray.
- In a bowl combine dry cake mix, 1 egg and melted butter until evenly incorporated. Press this in the prepared pan.
- In another bowl combine sweetened condensed milk, egg, vanilla and toffee bits. Whisk together until combined.
- Pour this over the first layer.
- Bake for 20-25 minutes until edge are golden brown and center is set.
- Let cool completely before cutting into squares.
Notes
These bars are great if made the day before.
Store airtight, unrefrigerated for up to 3 days.
1. Those bars look amazing!
2. That is a crazy story! You had a friends moment, hilarious!!
This is such a good recipe. My family has made a version of it for years. Ours are called Delicious Bars because they are amazingly delish!
The bars look great. I love love toffee.
Hello there, I just made this dessert and was wondering if most of the middle should be very, very gooey? It has set up for at least 7 hours.
Not to be the Friends police or anything, but I believe it was Joey that peed on Monica when she got stung by the jellyfish. Chandler wouldn’t have done that, because like you said, there are some places a relationship just shouldn’t go! Though, at that point in the show I don’t think they were dating yet…
Okay, clearly I watch waaaaay to many reruns of Friends!
But in all seriousness, sorry you got stung! That can’t have been fun. I hope tasty toffee bars healed you up good!
I think you need to get better friends! Leave you for dead… so unthoughtful! 😉 Glad you are ok, and Im glad you shared this with us. Great looking recipe!!!!
Hubby was stung my a jellyfish years ago (still dating at the time), we had no idea what to do. He got pulled over speeding out of the National Park to figure out what to do. The cop who pulled him over told him to put meat tenderizer and vinegar on it. But he told us in the “how dumb are you” tone of voice.
I’m going to the Outer Banks of NC in 4 days and between the threat of sharks, stingrays and the dreaded jelly fish I’m pretty sure I will not be going in the ocean…I’m going by myself so I will have no one to pee on my sting either if it happens, not worth the risk! I will, however, be making these cookies, as they seem like they will be a nice treat on my 12 hour solo-drive. 🙂
As a very long-time beach girl, I always carry a small plastic jar of meat marinade in my beach bag. Easier to carry than vinegar, and no hunting for someone to pee on you! It also smells better than vinegar… and, well, pee.
The timing of this recipe is perfect. My daughter is working at a youth camp all summer and I want to send her a special treat in the mail that will still taste good in a couple of days.
XOXO
h.
Meat marinade? That is awesome and hilarious all in one 🙂 Thanks for the tip!!
It really works! All the little local stores have it at the register, and the regulars and beach lifeguards keep it handy. (The cheaper, the better!)
Oh yummy! These look super good and EASY. I just happen to have all of the ingredients in my pantry. Exciting!